Julia
Michelle Sample
CRWT057
Professor
Katharine Burns
5/7/17
The New Kings
“So
who are you seeing tonight, again?” my mom asked as we drove back from the
grocery store. “Oh, um, Marillion,” I answered dryly, not even looking up from
my phone. It was a Saturday, the perfect day to go to a concert. After I left
for college in 2015, I was concerned that I would have to abandon my
concertgoing habits and hold off on them until the summer or whenever I was on
break. Fortunately, I was ultimately still able to find time around school
obligations to go to an occasional show. I had driven home from Riverside the
night before, thinking more about spending the evening with my dad rather than
giving any thought to who exactly we were seeing. Being the hardcore
progressive rock fan that I was, I couldn’t help but know the name of this
band, but I had paid little to no attention to them. Years earlier, I had seen
them on TV during a rerun of the 2010 High Voltage music festival. They played
a song called, “Neverland.” I remember looking at the screen for the longest
time, confused as to whether the name “Neverland” was the name of the band or
the song. I didn’t learn the truth until years later. I liked the performance, as I was particularly struck by the
emotion and passion they seemed to put into the music. Despite this, I only
liked it very casually, as I never made the effort to look into that band
further. I didn’t really have the time. I was thirteen and just beginning my
journey of musical discovery. At the time, I could not have cared less about
this band apparently called Marillion. I just wanted to watch the final
performance of Emerson, Lake and Palmer, a favorite band of mine. My dad and I didn’t react to the
announcement of Marillion’s 2016 North American tour with much enthusiasm.
Instead, we responded with just general interest, as we were open to trying
just about any act that came to town. Due to our mutual willingness to try out
new bands just for the sake of a fun night out, we did not pass up the opportunity.
It gave us an excuse to travel to downtown L.A. and escape from the
conservative clutches of our hometown for an evening. We bought our tickets in
December 2015, ten months in advance, which I thought was an obnoxiously long
time to wait, not that I was anticipating it much. We did not look forward to
this show as eagerly as we did to the two David Gilmour shows we saw earlier in
2016. We waited eight months for those shows, but ten seemed a bit excessive to
us. I hadn’t heard of any band selling concert tickets that long before the
actual show. Nonetheless, we remained pretty neutral about what the results of
this show would be. Maybe they would be great. Maybe they would be just
alright. Maybe they would be awful. Having gone to over fifty concerts with my
dad over the past 6 years, we had seen our fair share of concert miracles as
well as concert duds, so we knew there was a possibility that it wouldn’t be
that great. We would just have to see. Regardless, we wanted to have fun. This
was our favorite thing to do together, after all.
My dad and I headed out from our house at
about 5:00pm, in absolutely no hurry to get to the venue. We drove at a
leisurely pace, heading to downtown Beverly Hills. We had our dinner at a
forgettable place not far from the venue. I think we had pizza. Still, we took
our time. There were still two hours before the main act anyway. As we ate, we
talked about the night ahead, and established that, regardless of how the show
was, we were going to have fun. We were not expecting anything particularly
special since we knew next to nothing about this band, but we established that
the evening would be fun. As far as we were concerned, we were just having a
casual night out, doing our favorite activity together: concertgoing. Before we
started attending concerts back in 2010, my dad had all but retired from live
music due to family commitments. He just didn’t have the time for it after he married
and had my sister and me. It wasn’t until I picked up the guitar in 2008 that
he was inspired to rediscover the music that he loved when he was growing up.
As a result, going to concerts had grown to be a special ritual for both of us.
Nights like these were also an opportunity for us to give attention to acts
that we were less familiar with, since the majority of our concert money had
been going towards the bigger names like Roger Waters or The Moody Blues. When
we finally left the restaurant for the venue, it was well after 8:00pm. Less
than an hour until show time.
We arrived at the Saban Theatre on
Wilshire Boulevard, a small venue. The marquee clearly read out, in colorful
letters: Marillion North America 2016. Our tickets were routinely scanned and
we made our way inside. The venue itself was not overly decorated. The
architecture was simple, avoiding all the fine details carved into the woodwork
on the seats that venues like the Orpheum Theatre in downtown L.A. had. 30
minutes before show time. I was not fazed by the crowd of middle-aged people
that overflowed the lobby, for this was a very typical concert crowd for me. Very
rarely did I see anyone who was my age at the concerts I went to, although this
crowd was not quite as old. The average age was probably about fifty. This
time, however, I did manage to catch a few young faces in the swarm of people,
a good sign to me. The excited Marillion fans crowded eagerly around the
merchandise stand, itching to get their hands on the band’s latest album,
called F.E.A.R (short for Fuck Everyone and Run). I rolled my eyes. What a
stupid name for an album! They’re joking, right? I had no intention of buying
such an album. I had no money anyway, for I had just started my first job
earlier that week as a server at one of my university’s dining halls.
We took our seats, located in the front
row of the mezzanine, a spot we tend to go for when we are seeing a band for
the first time. It offered a perfect view of the stage, as there was no
obstruction to worry about, and no one was sitting in front of us. As I looked
around the room, I could clearly see that the place wasn’t sold out. Since
tickets went on sale ten months earlier, I wondered why it was that they
couldn’t sell out this 2,000-person venue in that time. If they couldn’t sell
out a place like this, how good could they be? My hopes were not very high for
this.
Finally, the lights went down, both in
the room and on the stage. We were in pitch black and complete silence for a
little bit, until a soundscape started and filled the room. My perfect pitch
and musical senses kicked in, as I instantly knew that it was in G minor. Being
a guitar player for over eight years, I could determine the key of just about
any song almost instantly. The dramatic, intriguing nature of it immediately grabbed
the attention of both my dad and myself. To me, it sounded like the start of a movie,
a dark, drama to be exact. I could picture it at that moment: a pitch black
screen that morphed into the navy blue Warner Brothers logo, like the start of
one of my favorite action or drama movies. The Warner Brothers logo faded and
was followed by the logos for the other companies that helped make this film a
reality. The logos faded, and I was brought back to the stage, and the first
four members of the band emerged from the darkness. The audience erupted with
excitement as four men, who looked to be about in their mid to late fifties,
took their places on the stage. I did not know any of them except for Steve
Rothery, the guitarist. I couldn’t get a good look at the drummer since he was
buried behind a wall of drums, but everyone else I could see just fine. Except
for one. I knew there was a fifth member of this band but I didn’t see him.
Finally, he came out of the shadows. I knew that this was Steve Hogarth, called
“H” by the band and by fans. I guessed it was to distinguish him from Steve
Rothery. H blushed at the audience and took his place in the center of the
stage, carrying an acoustic-electric guitar, and the first melodies of the
evening left him:
“The
world’s gone mad/And I’ve lost touch/I shouldn’t admit it/But I have”
What a dark way to start a show, I
thought. My dad and I looked at each other, confused. We were a bit taken aback
by this, but at the same time, we couldn’t help but be instantly intrigued.
I studied the front man carefully, taking
in all of his features as best I could. He was clearly not that much taller
than me, and his casual stage attire of jeans and a T-shirt told me that he
didn’t stress too much about looks. However, it wasn’t the appearance of his
body that fascinated me. Rather, it was the movement of his body that struck
me. When I watched H move across the stage, I was reminded of a graciously
animated Disney princess. I thought of Belle walking through the castle in Beauty and the Beast, or Snow White
running through the forest with her animal friends. He possessed the same
amount of elegance and enchantment. There was a real rhythm to how he moved,
unlike any other human being I had ever seen. Side to side, frame-by-frame, H’s
moves were carefully animated into existence. I could see the breaks in the
animation as the frames changed. Even from where I was sitting, I could spot
all the fine details the animator placed into creating this character, from the
shine of his white skin to the glare from the stage lights that made his hair
glow. Yes, even his shoulder-length black hair moved in perfect syncopation
with the rest of his body. Nothing seemed out of place. I watched him tease his
band mates playfully, poking their arms and leaning on their shoulders. He
gazed at them as though he were a schoolgirl staring longingly at her crush,
not that I thought he was in love with them. Rather, it was a look of deep
affection and admiration, a look one would give another after years of
friendship. How cute! The band didn’t seem to mind this, though. He also played
with the people lucky enough to be in the front row. I noticed that no one in
that row was sitting at that point. They huddled in front of H like he was that
beloved family member with all the fascinating life stories.
I was also struck by the quality of his
voice. Almost immediately, it occurred to me that his voice was one that was
meant for stadiums rather than a tiny venue like the one we were in. It had so
much drive, so much power. It also had quite an impressive range, spanning from
a whisper to practically a scream. H’s voice had the strength and bite that I
was used to hearing in much younger singers like Adele or Nate Ruess. It
sounded mature but, at the same time, a little youthful. It was a voice that
clearly had been looked after over the years and cared for.
It didn’t take long for me to realize
that this show was going to be different from almost every other show that I’ve
seen. Most of the bands I had seen for the first time at past concerts did not
completely blow me away, so I didn’t expect this band to be any different. I
studied the rest of the band, and I saw a passion for music displayed in a way
that I had never seen before. Every note and beat was chosen carefully and
played with sincerity. As I listened to Steve Rothery’s guitar skills, I
couldn’t help but liken his style to David Gilmour of Pink Floyd, Steve Hackett
of Genesis, and at times, even Alex Lifeson of Rush. It seemed like a perfect
blend of those three styles. I wondered how he managed to get his PRS guitar to
have that perfect, fat sound with just the right amount of sustain. Even as a
guitar player for eight years, I could never get my guitar to sound that good.
“We made a protest album called Fuck Everyone and Run. We don’t share
your Californian optimism. We’re English, you know,” H told the audience in his
posh English accent. “We’ll play the lighter songs now and then descend into
darkness later,” he added. No! I want the darkness now! I thought. I had always
been a huge fan of dark-themed music. Music about topics such as mental illness,
oppression and politics struck me even at a very young age. To me, they offered
the most interesting ideas and insight.
The music was dramatic and enchanting,
but I couldn’t help but notice the content of the lyrics at one point as well,
particularly the way H delivered the line, “Fuck
everyone and run.” I likened his delivery of that line to a siren sitting
on a rock in the middle of the ocean and calling out to a ship. It was sung in
a way that was not angry or bitter, but rather sorrowful, coming from a place
of pain. The entire song seemed to be coming from a place of pain: “Remember a time when you thought that you
mattered/Believed in the school song, died for your country/A country that
cared for you.” All sorts of images and sounds whirled around inside my
head. All of a sudden I heard the vague, empty political promises of both
presidential candidates, saw the division between liberals and conservatives as
depicted on social media, and felt the same sense of dread that everyone else
in the country probably experienced. I sat in my seat, speechless, wanting to
cry. I couldn’t believe how relevant those words were, especially since we were
in the midst of a very bitter and ugly presidential election. I found myself
thinking about those words. Has my country ever cared for me? Being only 19 and
just starting to venture into world issues and political ideologies, I wasn’t
entirely sure, since I was only paying attention to those issues for the very
first time. Was there ever a time when I did, in fact, believe in the school
song? It got me thinking about all those lonely days spent in high school, when
I hated singing the alma mater, since it gave off a message of unity that I
didn’t feel between my classmates. While the words didn’t sit well with me, I
found them also fascinating to think about. “You
poor sods have only yourselves to blame.” Wow, I thought. I didn’t think
truer words had ever been sung before. The words stabbed me right in the chest,
twisting before pulling out. My dad and I sat forward in our seats, in complete
disbelief. For the first time, a song I was hearing live had me gripping the
arms of my seat tightly, as though I was holding on for dear life. I didn’t
think this band could have picked a better time to release this album. I
thought it sounded stupid, but now I understood. We needed this album so badly,
especially in this country. “Why is
nothing ever true?” I don’t know, H. I really don’t know. I wish I had an
answer, I thought desperately.
If there was one thing I realized in that
moment, it was that this band was severely and devastatingly underrated. This
was what I had been missing all that time. I looked around the room again, and
was horrified and offended by the presence of empty seats. Why is this place not sold out? There are how many people in Los
Angeles? Surely there are at least 2,000 people willing to see this band. It’s
a Saturday night. There’s no excuse for this. My mind was racing, struggling to
find the reason for the empty seats. My thoughts were almost as desperate as
the music that was overwhelming my senses.
“I can’t tell you how hard it is not to
talk about Donald Trump,” H said with a grin. I heard people in the audience
groan. I put my face in my hand, bracing myself for a political rant. “But I’ll
restrain myself,” he added, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I would have hated
to see him get heckled by some poor sods in the audience who couldn’t help
themselves. With that, he disappeared suddenly from the stage, only to return
shortly in a long-sleeved white top that was clearly too big for him. He must
have put that on in a hurry because the cuffs were undone and the buttons were
uneven. Despite this, H showed no shame in his improper attire. The band broke
into song once more. I immediately recognized the song as “Neverland,” the very
first song I ever heard by this band. It took me back to when I was 13, and had
no clue. It was also during this song that I saw the entire band at their very
best. As the band played, H closed his eyes and spread his arms out like a bird
and was carried away by the power of the music. At this point his body really,
truly moved like an enchantress. It flowed in a steady rhythm with the music, moving
like ocean waves. He fell to the floor, overwhelmed by the depth of his own
lyrics: “But when you’re gone/I never
land/in Neverland.” The other members on stage also played with their eyes
closed. H put his heart and soul into singing those words, even adding his own
delay effects to certain words.
I couldn’t believe that it had taken me
this long to realize how special this band actually was, and their performance
during “Neverland” made that all the more apparent. Never had I seen someone
collapse to the floor and sing with such passion. I began to feel terrible for
doubting them and paying them no mind. How could I have been so stupid? I asked
myself. I spent all that time ignoring them. My dad probably felt even worse,
for he had known about them since the 1980s but didn’t give much thought to
them. We looked at each other again, somewhat sadly, as we acknowledged our
mutual failure to notice this band’s talent up until that night. The song
ended, and we immediately stood up and gave Marillion a much-deserved standing
ovation, as did the rest of the audience.
The entire band then exited the stage,
and the crowd did the usual thing of cheering for the band to come back on for
an encore. Eventually, they did emerge once more. They then proceeded to play
what I felt was the darkest piece of the evening. From start to finish, it was
dark, grim, haunting, and intense. The words have never left my memory:
“The
gold stops us/The gold always did/The gold took more lives than uranium/ Than
plutonium/Pandemonium/The thunder approaches the heavy sighing of the monster.”
“F
E A R is everywhere here /Under the patio /Under the hard-earned bought and
paid-for home /Cushions, scented candles and the lawn /Mowing to the beat and
the rumble of the coming storm”
“But
you can't see into my head /You can't see into my head”
I hadn’t heard anything that real or relevant
in a long time. I agreed that there definitely was a storm coming, whether we
knew it or not. The words had me thinking about the election in particular,
wondering about what the fate of this country was going to be, regardless of
who won. After months of listening to the same, tired, worn out promises to
take back the country presented by both presidential candidates, I felt like
this country was going to be in a difficult state for at least the next four
years. Neither candidate was well liked or respected by the majority, so I
couldn’t picture this election turning out well. They were the same empty
promises that I knew other presidents had made in the past, like the promise to
bring universal healthcare, or the promise to end poverty in this country. However,
the words also offered me a glimmer of hope, as I took comfort in knowing that
I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. They seemed to be relevant, but also
universal. I could imagine those words still making sense 30 years from that
night.
The end of Marillion’s set came faster
than I expected. It had been the quickest two and a half hours of my life. I
didn’t want it to end, though. Everyone in the band stood up, taking in the
crowd’s cheers. “Thank you for coming, Los Angeles. Too-da-loo!” H spoke his
last words to the audience and then exited the stage, as did the rest of the
band.
My dad and I sat in our seats for a good
while after the house lights came up, and people made their way out the doors
of the venue. I begged my dad to give me $20, and when he did, I rushed to the
merchandise stand before everyone else did and grabbed the first copy of Fuck Everyone and Run that I saw. On the
way home, my dad and I sat in mutual silence, contemplating what we had just
seen. We usually talked about shows and listened to music on the drive back,
but this time was different, for we knew that we had made a new musical
discovery together. As I sat, I soon thought of the reason for why concertgoing
was so important to us. It was an opportunity to bond over our shared love of
music. I was reminded of the
rewarding experience of discovering a new band, especially one as underrated as
this one.
Profound writing. What a treat ��
ReplyDeleteWelcome to our world that includes the wonderful band Marillion. I am 49 years old and have been listening to them for 30 years. Your words and feelings are lived every time I hear anyone of their songs. Many years of joy and pleasure through Marillion's music to you. If only more people would hear and understand. Regards, Nick Filonovich. Brockport, NY
ReplyDelete